Boys & Girls

.....they communicate very differently. Even when we're all speaking the same language, the way girls communicate and the ways boys communicate is so different that we might as well be speaking different languages sometimes.

This past week in my Intercultural Communications class we learned a bit about the differences in the way both genders communicate. This really connected to PCP so I wanted to talk about it. I find it so interesting that both genders have different ways of approaching communication and connecting with one another.

For example, boys tend to be more competitive and the way they bond with their friends is by showing off. At least, this is what I saw in the short video we watched in class. In the video, 5 year old boys were playing outside together and discussing how high they could hit a ball. One boy said he could hit it up to "here" and then lifted his hand to narrate how high he could hit. The next boy said that he could hit it to the sky. The third boy said he could hit it to heaven. Finally, the fourth boy said he could hit a ball all the way to God. It was really comical watching the way these young boys interacted with each other and how by one-upping another they bonded.

Girls are much different. In the same video, 5 year old girls were videotaped having a conversation about one of the girls babysitters. One girl says that her babysitter has contacts. The other girl says that both her mom and her dad have contacts. The first girl then comments again by saying, "the same?!" This shows that girls bond by showing how alike they are and by saying that they are similar, they are communicating that they like each other.

Another interesting thing that we learned was that males in general tend to speak more bluntly while girls tend to "beat around the bush." I sort of knew this already, at least it is something that I've noticed in the ways that males and females communicate. In fact the more that I learn about communication between by Intercultural Communications class and PCP the more I find I analyze my own conversations and ones that I hear.

For example, a conversation that I had with my boyfriend made me think about how differently we communicate. This weekend we were in Disney World celebrating my friend's birthday and as we were walking in the park someone close to me sneezed. I automatically said bless you just because that's something that I've always done. I also say bless you to my boyfriend when he sneezes all the time. So it caught me off guard when after I "blessed" this person for sneezing my boyfriend turns to me and says that saying "bless you" is meaningless and stupid. Just outright says that. Then, sensing that I was a bit offended he followed with "well I mean, that's what I think and it's why I stopped saying it. I don't really have a problem when other people say it."

Looking back at this conversation I noticed that because he's a guy, so naturally speaks more bluntly, he said this without taking into context the people around him (me) and how they might feel about the matter. Though he did pick up on it after the fact. I then thought about how I would have approached the matter if the roles had been reversed, and for certain I would not have said that I think what he does is stupid and meaningless. I probably would have asked why he does it or say something like, "what does bless you even mean when someone sneezes?" so that I could hear his side on the issue and understand better. I guess you could say it's "beating around the bush" but really I'm just taking into account his feelings and reactions before I speak. Which I guess guys don't always do. At least not as much as girls. Generally speaking that is.

-kp